Our Sense of Wonder

“Without wonder, men and women would lapse into deadening routine and little by little would become incapable of a life which is genuinely personal.” -John Paul II 

My theology class is seriously awesome. We’ve only met twice so far, but I’m enamored. In one of those two lectures, our Jesuit professor went over the importance of our sense of wonder. It sounds so silly (and nerdy) of me to admit, but I absolutely loved what he had to say. Wonder is key. As the quote explains, our lives would turn into a “deadening routine” without it. And it makes sense, too! Having a strong, perceptive sense of wonder somehow fuels my happiness. Thinking about something bigger and beyond myself is so inspirational: it makes me smile and fills up my bucket!  I thank God for the ability to feel this sense of wonder, to be curious, and to reflect. Like Father Scholla said, the human is made for revelation, and revelation is a cause for joy. With wonder comes revelation, and with revelation comes joy. I can dig it.  

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

Aaaaand here’s another nugget phrase! This one, like the others, is whiplash worthy. I’ve got a mental picture of your thought process doing a double take, but very profoundly, and somewhat violently. I don’t mean any harm. It’s just that this is a pretty fantastic nugget phrase.

This one came from scuID. On our first night together around the campfire we shared something personal that was holding us back. Most were fears, some were things we wanted to change about ourselves, but they were all candid and genuine. Before we began, Lori (read: proud mama) set the scene by telling all of us that what we were about to do might be scary and intimidating (Sharing a very private insecurity? Having to be vulnerable? Um, yes, scary and intimidating), but all we needed was 20 seconds of insane courage. You know, like that one movie about the purchase of a zoo. Just ground yourself, go for it, and be courageous for a few seconds (20, to be exact). I’ve thought about this nugget phrase a lot lately and have been surprising myself with how often it is applicable. Meeting new people, making those connections, being vulnerable, opening up, speaking up– all of these things can be deterring and unsettling! And with school just picking up again, they are all happening on a daily basis. But telling myself to just have 20 seconds of insane courage has made all the difference. The first hill that you’re fighting to go up is the hardest and the steepest, so think of the insane courage as a kick ass jet pack that will get you right to the top. I believe, truly, that it can even go so far as to give you a nudge so you can go downhill swiftly and assured. Next time you’re in a pickle (read: you are a sophomore who feels like a freshman due to a newfound lack of involvement and it’s freaking you out), remember that all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage to get you through. Pickle free. Promise.

Acceptance

I realize that I’ve been writing a lot of serious things lately, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I’m not sure it’s good, either. I guess I haven’t tried out a new post-worthy recipe in the past few weeks (it’s not like things have been busy or anything!), but I definitely want to get on that ASAP. I have way too many things bookmarked. So this is my written contract of sorts, okay? I suppose I’ll just have to accept the business of sophomore year is busy business, indeed…

OH HEY! Did someone say acceptance? I totally want to write about that! What are the odds?

I am considering this to be part two of the epiphany I had this week. Let me start with a question: have you ever surprised yourself with how well you’re handling something? There has been a lot on my mind lately, but I feel very much at peace about all of it. I finally understood yet another aspect about myself after I got off of the phone with Nana (my feisty ninety-three-year-old grandmother) yesterday afternoon. Once upon a time, she’s 93. A spring chicken, right? She hasn’t been doing super well recently and since I just lost my other grandma in April my thoughts can’t help but to fast forward to the inevitable. No part of me wants to think of that. There’s no way in heck that I want to feel more grief. But after we got off of the phone yesterday, I, of course, teared up at the thought of not being able to call her someday. But then, I stopped. I took a deep breath. I reflected on what has happened over the past year: who I’ve lost, how much I’ve grown, what I’ve learned, what they’ve taught me in their absence. I’ve learned to accept the fact that life is in no way going to be rainbows and frosting all year round. Sometimes, you get typhoons and yellow mustard (no offense to those who actually enjoy yellow mustard, but I could not think of a more vile spread to compare to frosting). Coming to accept this little factoid about life, then, in addition to accepting yourself, are two of the driving forces behind smooth sailing. Remember, the winds of the sea might change your course, but you’re the one in charge of the sails. 

 

Just Do You

How many times has someone told you to just “be yourself?” It’s like, a googolplex, huh? There are plenty of reasons behind why a person might give you that advice, but I’ve come to understand what being yourself can do for you in the best of ways. 

When you’re you, people flock to you. It’s crazy. Somehow, they can tell. I guess we humans appreciate genuineness. I can attest to this myself, though. When I let my guard down and began accepting that fact that I was Michaela, things started falling into place. I met some of my closest friends, got involved with what I wanted to be involved with, and learned a ton about, well, myself. From the beginning of my freshman year until now I feel that I’ve only come to accept myself (through getting to know myself) more and more, and now I can honestly say that I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. After everything that’s happened in the past year, I’ve come to learn that you are the only thing that’s guaranteed to be left after one of life’s great storms. If life decides to throw a rotten lemon or two at you, you might lose your sense of direction. You could lose some friendships. Heck, you could end up losing 5 wisdom teeth. Regardless of what you lose, though, you’re still going to have you. 

Once you realize that, it’s probably easier to understand what I’m going to say next (I had an epiphany today). I said that I’m happier than ever, right? Well, that’s not because my life is perfect. It is far from that. I’ve got plenty of things I could complain about (and I’m not saying I don’t), I still have a handful of doubts about where I’m going, and I know that life doesn’t just stop throwing rotten lemons at you (even when you think the bastard might have run out). You want to know the secret to the happiness I have now? I’m just doing me. I know that if I keep my chin up, keep smiling, keep swimming, and keep being me, everything will turn out the way it’s supposed to. It’s not easy, but that’s what makes it worth it. If it wasn’t hard, everybody would do it! (You know when you can’t remember where a quote came from and it just kills you? This is one of those moments) So here’s my advice: when in doubt, do you. Remember who you are and what makes you smile and how much you love the feeling of the wind playing with your hair (it’s really annoying, but I like it). Don’t ask me how it works, just trust me here: do you.

Turn Outward, Not Inward

This is a fantastic nugget phrase from Gwen that has become a mantra of mine. During some highly-caffeinated-life-planning-session in Starbucks in July, I emailed Gwen in a total tizzy. Not having her here is hard, and the only way for us to communicate is email. I told her about how stressed I was, how I didn’t know how to figure out what to do with my academic plan, how I was supposed to balance everything, and how I was growing up and making life plans. Yikes. I was stretching myself to the last possible millimeter…it definitely was not one of my best moments!

So Gwen, who has always been one of the most laid-back and down-to-earth girls ever, got back to me a few days later with that great nugget phrase (for other nugget phrases, see: lemons and birthplace lottery) . Turning outward means different things to different people, as does turning inward. For me, turning inward during this time was essentially self-destructive. Cooping myself up in a corner at a coffee shop and compulsively drawing up 4-year academic plans and researching post-grad opportunities only stressed me out. I am happy as a clam when I get to organize something (like my life), but there is a hard line that I crossed. Turning outward, then, meant forgetting my petty personal woes and channeling that energy toward serving others. For me, this can be having a genuine conversation with strangers, helping others with little things, and baking. I cannot begin to describe the difference in my mental health when I turn outward.  It may just be the extrovert in me, but I am definitely recharged by others and turning outward to them. Again, this is different for everybody, but take a moment to think about what turning outward is to you and how you can concretely accomplish it. You’ll thank yourself later when you can actually enjoy the time you have for just you!

Packing Tips and Tricks

I may or may not have just realized that my move-in date is only a little over a week away. It was as if the 2 weeks I had left were somehow eternal and I’d always have time to pack…eventually. Not really, apparently! 

So with a whole full day off (what’s that? free time?), I stoically opened the garage door this morning and began to sort through (read: stumble upon, trip on, want to cry over all of) the things I had from last year and the things I’ve collected over the summer. In the spirit of packing, I thought it would be appropriate to compile a little list of the tips and tricks I used to keep myself sane on this day.

1. Get organized! Before you even start to think about the actual packing, organize yourself with a few lists and a game plan. Make a shopping list of things you still need, make a check list for each category of items you’re moving (for me, this was my bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen/living room stuff), and make a list of materials you’ll need for the packing endeavor itself. Once you’ve taken those inventories and made that initiative, make a game plan for packing. I personally went through the chaos of our garage with different colored post it notes (each category had a color) and then separated everything out by color. This made packing boxes much more efficient and helped me evaluate what I already had! Long story short: make packing (and life in general) easier for yourself and just get organized!
2. Shop! Obviously, packing requires some special materials. I will always remember the moment I realized that I had forgotten to purchase packing tape when I started assembling boxes for move out. Remember that list you made for this shopping trip? Make sure it’s got all of the essentials: boxes (I use the medium ones from Home Depot, they’re cheap and sturdy!), packing tape, sharpies (for box labeling, and get those colored post-its while you’re at it), and newspaper/tissue. With everything you need to have already purchased, the day o’ packing goes a lot smoother! 
3. Set aside time, then take your time! This is what, honestly, kept pushing back packing for me this summer. I cannot tell you the last time I had a day to dedicate to this! I took a look at my planner a day or so ago, saw that today was open, and set aside the whole day to packing. And then, I made sure I took my time with sorting, deliberating, necessary laundry, etc. Make sure you don’t rush yourself! Really. Let yourself be meticulous about wrapping things in newspaper, and taping “friends” together (remotes and TV’s in different boxes? Hello, nightmare), and, well, breathing. Do not allow yourself to get overwhelmed, because I think packing has a sadistic way of making us extra vulnerable. Some other things to keep in mind: when packing clothes, designate one box to things that you hang and keep them on their hangers. That way, when you are unpacking, you can just place them in a closet! And speaking of closets, you should really invest in one of those nifty additional closet rods. It will save your wardrobe’s life in one of those claustrophobic dorm closets! Also, I highly recommend getting an extra-large space bag for bulky bedding (think the duvet quilts and pillow inserts), just for traveling’s sake. I find it helpful to think of yourself unpacking while you’re packing, too. If you plan on keeping sweaters, t-shirts, and tanks folded in one drawer, then pack them together! Heck, pack everything for your dresser drawers in the same large box! See where I’m going here? Move in brings along more laid-back, super fun friends than you think (that sneaky git invites the knit-picky apartment condition report, the meticulously slow check in procedure, an extremely small place to work with, and very often other people who are trying to function, too), so try to plan ahead and make the process as easy as possible. With something like this, more work beforehand will definitely mean less (or at least less stressful) work afterwards. 
4. Don’t “seal the deal” (with tape) until everything is good to go! If you’re an eager beaver like I am, then you’ll do something silly like taping shut your box of clothes two weeks before moving in (oh, freshman year jitters). Trust me, hold out until the night before packing the car. Odds are that you’ll end up repacking/reorganizing a few times, so until you’re positive about a box’s completion, don’t seal the deal. 
5. Always remember that Target will still exist on move-in day (and even move-in week). I am in perpetual fear of forgetting something. My phone, my keys, my planner, and then it all reaches new heights when I start packing. What if I forget my PJ’s? Heaven forbid I leave my cook books behind! What will happen if that wall decor gets forgotten? First of all, calm down. This is why you’re setting time aside and taking your time, remember? If something happens to slip your mind and miss the layover to the packing list, don’t worry. There’s another connecting flight that item can take to get to your new place and it’s called Target. 
6. Have a game plan for unpacking! It might feel like ages ago, but do you remember when you made a game plan for packing? Well, you should probably make a game plan for unpacking, too. It can be just as daunting, especially with its gang of friends. The best tip I can offer is to get your bed (this is if we’re talking dorm room!) taken care of first. Loft it, make it up, throw the bulky pillows on there. That way, you’ll have another place to put things, you can stash stuff under there, and if you make no other progress whatsoever, you’ll at least have a bed to sleep in that night. Honestly, though, the same rules apply. Take your time. Break it down. Stay open to the fact that you’ll most likely move things around eventually. Keep Target in the back of your mind. Everything will be alright.
7. Exercise your common sense! This tip needs a story for explanation. Last year during move-in, my Dad and I managed to waste at least 10 command hooks. After getting extremely frustrated with each other, reading the directions out loud multiple times, and a few well chosen words, we asked one of my suitemates for help. It wasn’t until her fresh eyes pointed out our obvious error (we had actually been removing the strips after adhering them, thinking it was part of the process…whoops!) that we were able to step back, laugh, regroup, and move forward. Moving in, packing, the whole shebang, it’s stressful. Keep yourself in check: if you need a break, then take a break. If something isn’t coming together, ask for help or go back to it later. Just use your common sense!  

Happy packing, everyone! And good luck with the new school year!  Look forward to a new cookie recipe sometime next week 🙂

Happy Birthday, C&C!

“daily prompt: Why did you start your blog? Is that still why you blog, or has your site gone in a different direction than you’d planned?”

Now that College and Cupcakes is a year old, I thought it would be fitting to answer this “daily prompt.” Reading the “about me” section reminds me about the genuine reason I started blogging: to take a moment to stop and check in. High school flew by, college has flown by, and the summer is nearly over. Time has a funny way of blindsiding us with its passing– just a year ago I was getting ready for my new adventure! But having my blog has definitely given me the amazing opportunity to look back on special moments throughout the past year and remember those days, those feelings, and those special insights. I’ve seen my growth spread out over recipes, random thoughts, and endless rambling about life. In retrospect, the College and Cupcakes has stayed on track in terms of what I planned it to be: a chronicle of my life as a thinker, baker, and, ultimately, lover of “personhood.”  However, I think I did not anticipate how cool the hindsight of posting would be. The chance to look back on how I wrote about recipes in October (holla to amazing seasonal muffins!) and compare it to now (with goodies like nutella stuffed cookies) is unparalleled. Sharing bits about myself, such as what baking means to me, how much I love rain and mornings, and my ardent admiration for Buddy the Elf, has been a great opportunity for reflection. Seeing how I processed whatever was going on at the time (sleeping through an important interview?) and thought about a plethora of stuff (life philosophies, time, and the ocean, to name a few) only reinforces the Progress I’ve made. I am definitely planning on continuing blogging and can’t wait to see where College and Cupcakes goes next. Thank you to everyone who has ever read and loved this blog, your support means everything to me! 🙂

Bittersweet Chocolate Bourbon Sorbet

Okay, okay. I’m getting a tad involved with the ice cream machine. And, perhaps, I’m posting too much about Hedy Goldsmith and her amazing recipes. I promise that College and Cupcakes is not becoming an ice-cream-cult blog that worships one baker. I can’t promise that I’m done with Hedy and her recipes, though. Sorry! 

When I first read through the recipe for Bittersweet Chocolate Bourbon Sorbet I was pretty skeptical. When I think of sorbet, I think of icy, fruity frozen goodness. I was definitely not expecting a wondrous/creamy/chocolatey concoction. Nope, not at all. But after making my custard, churning, and chilling this sorbet, I was a total convert. The chocolate adds a richness that is unparalleled and the bourbon kicks in at the end and burns your throat ever so slightly. It’s also awesome because it’s dairy free but insanely creamy! I would have never guessed there were no eggs or milk in this. It has the consistency of gelato, pretty much. And because it is so rich you can definitely only handle so much at a time. With that in mind, I decided to serve it in little shot glasses. Of course, we all went back for seconds, but it was still darling! So, the moral of this decadent tale– don’t judge a recipe by negative, preconceived notions. I bet it’ll end up pleasantly surprising you.

Cookie Monster Ice Cream

Sometimes, messing up a recipe has its pay-offs. I was planning on baking some Junk in da Trunk cookies for a few Catalina girls, but I rushed through making the dough and, well, things didn’t exactly go as planned. You see, when you add too much baking soda to cookies they tend to puff up really unattractively and lose their tender texture. Pretty much, I found myself in the kitchen, running late, with flat cookies. I left them behind (read: I dragged myself out of the kitchen in frustration) and thought of the perfect way to repurpose them…ice cream! 

I made vanilla ice cream to go with Nutella Stuffed Chocolate Chunk Cookies and it was delightful. These days I’m looking for any excuse to break out my new toy, so I took the opportunity to add doughy-junk-filled cookie pieces to the ice cream I was so eager to make. It’s all pretty simple: make your custard with 1 1/2 cups (each) of whole milk and heavy cream, a hearty pinch of salt, and two vanilla beans (with the beans scraped out, of course). Let that come to a light boil, then take it off the heat and cover it, allowing it to steep for at least half an hour. Once the milk mixture has mingled and marinated for awhile, bring it back up to a simmer and separate 7 egg yolks. To the egg yolks, whisk in 1/2 a cup of sugar. Temper this mixture slowly by adding small amounts of the hot milk and whisking it to release the heat. Then put everything into the sauce pan, grab a handy wooden spoon, and stir the custard until it is thick enough to coat the back of the spoon and hold a line you draw with your finger (no longer than 5 minutes). Once it’s thick enough, pour the custard through a fine mesh strainer and toss it in the fridge to chill completely. This is so so so important for proper churning! I left mine overnight. Then, after your patience is stretched thin, pour the custard into your ice cream maker and churn according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Just before the machine finishes its hard work, pour in the cookie crumbles! You could also add in Oreos or Nutter Butters or whatever floats your boat, really. Get that beauteous ice cream into a bowl, cover it, and let it firm up in the freezer.

 

It should be good to go after a few hours! You could serve it on its own, but I don’t see a problem with serving it on top of a warm, correctly-baked cookie. We are dealing with cookie monsters here, aren’t we? 

Alone Time (Take 2)

For the past few weeks, I’ve settled into a work rotation that has done quite the job of making me appreciate caffeine, the end of the day, and my bed. Babysit, JCrew, restaurant. Or another combination of the three. I love being busy and the work I have had the opportunity to do. I love the kids I watch, the people I dress up, and my fellow foodies. It’s just crazy to me how much I now appreciate the time I get to myself. Before when I posted about how special Alone Time was, I was focusing more on the novel aspect of it as it was becoming part of a routine. But now, I recognize the importance of “me time” remaining part of my routine. Without it, I don’t get the chance to check in with myself. I miss out on people watching and recharging my batteries. Thank the Lord for for iced lattes, good books, and quality me time!