I don’t know why, but I was going through the old notes in my phone the other day and stumbled upon a little nugget. A year ago, I had a “realization” (as it is labeled). I was so pleasantly surprised to find it! I wanted to share it with you, since it’s so deep and all 😉
“Realization: we never stop growing! Now that we have grown physically, our mental growth begins. This is the growth that counts. I always thought college was some sort of “end destination” where everything would magically fall into place and I would uncover all of the answers to the questions of life. But nope! Im still growing, maturing, learning. Change is the only constant.”
I wish I could remember what I was doing when I wrote this down. It’s just so honest. I kind of hit a wall at this point last year because college wasn’t as magical as I thought it would be. Life was still happening (duh), I wasn’t adjusting, and I missed my high school. It was frustrating, and devastating, but also humbling. I think it took a lot for me to admit that I was, in fact, still growing. Growth is good, super good, but I wanted to be transformed into an ideal projection I had of myself. And stay that way. Forever. Unfortunately for the Michaela 365 days ago, this is not how life works. Life is about accepting the fact that you will always be imperfect, that you will always be growing and changing, and that you can’t control a lot of it. It’s about making happiness a priority, finding joy in all things, and doing small things with great love…even when you don’t feel like it. Life is a bundle of a lot of these little nugget phrases, and everyone has a different bouquet (being the girl I am, I am envisioning unique wedding bouquets. This is what too much time on Pinterest will do to you). I hope that you get the chance to be a little selfish and meticulously craft your bouquet. Do some soul searching! Live a little! Call a reputable florist (aka mentor/best friend/etc) if you need some help. And don’t get too attached to your bouquet when you think it’s all finished…because it’s bound to change again 🙂
Some people hate change, and some people embrace it. I’m not quite sure how I feel about it. I can see both sides of the argument here: those who hate it don’t want to leave something great behind, and those who embrace it are ready for the promises the future holds.
I’ve undergone a lot of change since the start of the quarter. Looking back over the past seven weeks, it’s hard to believe how much has happened. I’ve dropped from my sorority, resigned from my job, met a ton of amazing new people, made decisions about the future, declared two majors and a minor, and have grown as a person in new ways. Phew. While life will never really slow down, I can see a nugget phrase in the midst of the craziness. Are you ready for this one?
“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”
Aaaaaamen! I have seen this in action over the quarter. If you put yourself first and are brave enough to do what’s right for you, life will be a whole lot better. I’ve been blessed with new opportunities, new friends, and newfound joy. And I can honestly say that I haven’t been this happy since my Catalina years. Santa Clara truly feels like home to me now and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Growing up is hard. I don’t think I’ll ever abandon some childlike tendencies, but in order to function, I do need to grow up a little. I posted a little review praising “Adulting” recently. I truly did love that book, because it put being an adult into a perspective I could gauge. Sure, it won’t happen overnight, and there are lots of things about being a responsible adult that can’t be written in list form. I’ve noticed a huge shift in me over the summer, though. My life has been in a season of change since graduating, and I kind of just realized this. It’s silly to say since I was doing my independent-sort-of-adult thing all year; but I think I actually am able to wrap my mind around the fact that I’m growing up. Working two jobs, helping out with the house, having to cook for myself, manage my own money, and all of the other adult-ish things I’ve been doing this summer are awesome accomplishments for me to look back on and say, “hey, I can do this!” Again, there’s so, so much more to being a legitimate functioning adult. Seeing my progress is cool, though, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come this summer. My next task is figuring out how to appropriately be a child as an adult 😉
Last December, I posted about how magical friendship is. It was amazing to me that my best friends and I had grown so much as individuals but were the same when we were together. Talking to them as if we had seen each other yesterday was astounding, because we all had changed in one way or another.
To think that that change happened in a few months time, though, is minute compared to the year and a half that will pass before my friend Gwen and I see each other again. She is Mormon and will be going on her mission! I am beyond excited for her. I admire her so much for making this sacrifice and being extremely selfless. I will miss her terribly, but I know that she will thrive in Temple Square.
By next Christmas, what will have happened? Even though we are able to email and write letters to one another, not getting to receive updates on our daily lives will definitely be hard. I’m looking forward to seeing her again, seeing how much will have changed, and how much we will have grown during our time apart. The potential that the future holds is electric…the countdown until then begins! Approximately 545 days!